The Tapestry of Your Life

heart driven life

I’m sitting at my two computers this morning. My new MacBook Air has an abundance of internet tabs open as I passionately develop my brand new writer’s website. The “Old Lady” (my MacBook from 2008) is turned on on my left-hand side with the documents folder open, as I peruse all the writing I’ve done since 2012. I’m collecting samples to add to my portfolio as I prep for the launch of my freelance writing business in January 2017.

In this moment, I sit back in complete awe of all the writing I’ve done over the years. I started my first blog in 2012, in which I wrote weekly. That blog led me to be introduced to a Florida woman who started Dreams Recycled, a business re-selling wedding dresses and rings, aimed at divorced women. I started writing for her blog one year after establishing my first blog. At the same time, I started to write for an online publication called Wild Sister Magazine.

I continued to write for Dreams Recycled and Wild Sister Magazine as I transitioned from my first blog to what is today Heart Driven Life (HDL). At the time, HDL was my coaching business with a blog on the side that I continued to produce content for. Eventually, I closed my coaching business so I could focus on finishing nursing school, and HDL took a short hiatus.

After HDL and while I was finishing nursing school, I had the brilliant idea of creating content for nursing students. I quickly developed, promoted, and conducted a workshop for incoming nursing students.

Today, I’ve reopened my blog and now I’m starting a freelance writing business. I never imagined I’d be starting a freelance writing business, nor did I realize how all my choices up to this point would create such brilliant fodder for a writing portfolio. In each of these moments, I simply wanted to create. I wanted to provide value to the world and feel like there was meaning to my life.

I feverishly explored my passions to understand myself on a deeper level and share my experiences with the world. I overcame buckets of fears and doubts with each blog post published and email sent to outside publications. I wrote and wrote, always thinking that I never had anything important to say or that my writing wasn’t any good. And yet – I did it anyway.

Why did I keep doing it? Almost as though I was continually pulled forward by some external yet invisible force.

Since the start of this year, I have reaped reward after reward and benefit after benefit of having followed that invisible pull, even when I had no clue where the heck I was going or what it all meant.

In January, I received a Facebook message from a cool girl located in my city, Dallas. She said she’d read my writing in one of the Wild Sister Magazines and noticed we lived in the same city. We decided to meet up. Eleven months later, we’ve hung out multiple times, explored the mysteries of life together, and are great friends. She’s truly an amazing human being that I feel blessed to call my friend.

In April, I felt a strong pull to create a second stream of income, or so that’s what I thought I was doing. I followed the inspiration and turned my workshop content into a book sold in eBook format on Amazon.

Today, as I put together my writer’s website and portfolio, I’m in awe of the selection of samples I have to choose from and the clear indication that I’m on the right path.

When I started writing actively in 2012, I had no clue that it would lead me to where I am today or bring me the benefits of a new friendship. At the time, I felt like I was searching and clawing my way to some semblance of meaning and direction in my life. As each new creation eventually fell away, I grieved for the loss of a dream. With each endeavor, I felt like, “This is it! This… is… it!” And yet, it still fell away anyways… not quite right.

Over the last two months, I have sat with myself, researched until I was blue in the face, and drew a copious amount of tarot cards to guide me to where I am now. I’m on the cusp of starting a new journey. A journey that had been growing, developing, and expanding since before I even realized I was on a journey.

From this experience, I am blessed with the fully integrated realization that what we do in life matters, even when we don’t always know what it’s for.

I encourage everyone everywhere to go after their heart’s desires as long as their heart desires it and then let it go and move on. You never know what each creativity pitstop will lead to down the road. And you’re not supposed to know. If you did, you’d be God. Plus, where’s the fun in that?

Like they say – life is a tapestry. Each of our individual experiences, seemingly unrelated, eventually all come together to form the beautiful working of our lives.